I remember a snapshot of my early twenties, when I would sit regularly to write
in the window that overlooked my towns lake.
It was an apartment that sat over a jewelry store downtown.
I found such profound peace in those moments.
Notebook in hand, joint in my mouth, and a smile in the crook of my face…..
So many abstract thoughts then, discovering who Alice was down in the rabbit hole….
I had hung my teddy bear from a light fixture in the Livingroom the night before
with a suicide note pined to his chest.
” I cant take it anymore, please save me!”, it said.
I was probably very high…. I laugh a little.
Smells of coffee, weed and last nights party hung in the air
I smiled alot then even when I was moody, sad, melancoly.
I remember that little apartment with
acquaintances in and out, friends just stopped by, whenever
Danny lived across from me, sweet boy child that I adored
He would always make breakfast for us on Sundays,
We were usually hung over from drugs, booze and life.
They were the best of times and the worst of times…
We loved hard, party hard, fought hard and fucked hard.
I remember that morning Danny stepped into my apartment after I hung Teddy up,
“Is this after you had a conversation with the Tomatoes in the fridge last night?”, he asks.
I was sitting in my window box, writing another abstract poem and without looking up,
I said, “Ya…It didn’t go well”.
“Shit happens”….he left me a plate of bacon and eggs and leaves.
I stared out the window, notebook in my lap and thought…
I really need to clean this window.